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Don’t…be afraid to let others know you are looking to date. Your circle may know others of a similar mindset and interests, so tapping into your network might just work best for you. Do…listen more than you talk for the first few dates. It’s important to genuinely get to know your date, understand what they are passionate about and whether that is in line with what you are looking for. Give your date attention and give yourself a chance to really get to know them.
As soon as the stay-at-home order hit, the dating game changed. Maybe you got Zoom-date fatigue or maybe you’re now determining who to date based on vaccination status. However, what’s going on in the world doesn’t have to harm your love life. In fact, it could even be beneficial. For example, dating during a pandemic meant focusing on an emotional connection first, since the physical connection and new-relationship excitement isn’t possible. You got to know who someone was without spending time and energy doing the actual dating. You learned to build slower connections (plus, it’s more foreplay, you know?) and staying at home became an opportunity to get to know other people with fewer distractions. The past two years have changed us in many ways, and the way you date (and prioritize what you want) can be one of them. Reevaluate what you’re looking for and how you want to date based on the lessons you’ve learned.
Another huge mistake that most guys make in dating is chasing women. It’s okay to express your desire for a woman. But if she’s told you she isn’t interested and you keep forcing yourself on her, that’s an unhealthy place to be in. Here’s the thing: Desire isn’t that complicated. When a woman is interested in you, she’ll want you to know. Most likely, she’ll make her own moves on you, even if she won’t say it in words. Hence, doing the long exhausting chase with women is rarely worth it. If she said she doesn’t want you, don’t begin to go in harder. Swallow your pride and move to someone else. Most men make these mistakes unknowingly. Some just fall into them out of insecurity or fear of rejection. Whatever reason it may be, if you’re looking to upgrade your dating life and build a healthy relationship for yourself, stop making these mistakes.
Avoid giving out your number until after the first date: Experts advise users who communicate on dating apps to avoid changing to direct text with their telephone. This is for safety reasons and because there is a high chance the date won’t materialize. Although it isn’t mannerly, the reality is that ghosting happens, and date plans sometimes aren’t finalized, texts are forgotten, or things turn platonic. So, schedule the first date directly on the dating app platform. Once you’ve met in person, and if you feel comfortable and connected, then consider exchanging numbers and/or social media platforms.
FYI: Being alone is a good thing. A single relationship status or even just time spent on our own allows us to turn inward, explore our truest desires, and get to know ourselves better. When we know ourselves and what we want, our dating lives become more fulfilling, successful, and fun. Any amount of time alone can be invested to understand what we want out of a partner, but more importantly, it can make us feel so whole we don’t need a partner. Let me go on a quick tangent about a few outdated dating rules that we really should ditch, like, yesterday. To start, my least favorites of all dating rules are “Don’t kiss on the first date” and the “Three-date rule.” Let’s just throw out any rules that imply that what you want to do with your body and when you want to do it are not up to you. Make your own rules based on comfortability and what you’re feeling.
I know it isn’t easy to turn inward. It feels vulnerable. It requires recognizing your weaknesses. But in doing so, you’re setting yourself up for dating success. Because at the end of the day, you can’t control what other people do — all you can control is your own actions and behavior. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: you attract what you give off. In other words, only when you are mentally and emotionally healthy will you be able to land a partner who is as well. So, ready to make some positive changes? Cheers to a new year, a new outlook, and a new and exciting chapter for love. Follow these foolproof dating tips and odds are, you won’t be single for very long.
Look — I get it. Not everyone is into texting. But the reality is that these channels of digital communication have become so prevalent that someone might take it personally if you aren’t getting back to them in a timely manner. So, here’s an opportunity for you to communicate! Tell your dates from the get-go what your communication style is so they can adjust their expectations. For example, you might say, “I’m not big on texting, except for quick things like solidifying plans, but just so you know I’m always down for a deep chat on the phone!”